why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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