If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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