Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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