you guys were way drunker than both of me
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
