i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize