Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
