There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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