Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
