Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
