would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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