we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
