im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
