i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize