Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
