Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize