marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
