Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
