i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
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