I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
