You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
