I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"