he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
