my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
