I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
