she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My vagina is very pro this idea
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