so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
