it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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