fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
