STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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