OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You're breaking my sexual little heart
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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