It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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