Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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