evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
