I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
