Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
