I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
