Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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