Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
