what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
