at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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