Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
