dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
