My nipple is on Facebook.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
