He is an equal opportunity slut.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
