We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
