I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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