We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
