her vagine was all disorganized.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
