I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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