I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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