Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
