Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize