Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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