No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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