the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
