yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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