chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
