it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
