Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
