i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize