So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
