You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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