We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
