DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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